I shouldn’t have to stress just how damn awesome this book is. You should know all about it already. Read it now, if you haven’t, and then go buy a copy. No, wait. Buy two. Maddox explains:
How many copies do [I] recommend purchasing?
Seven, in case you lose six. The absolute minimum you should purchase is 2 so you can wear one around your neck as a fashionable safe-keep. People will know you’re all business when they see you donning 204 pages of the most testicularly endowed literature to rock the publishing universe. In fact, I wear one around everywhere I go.
This is NOT something you want to miss.
Maddox writes in the inside book flap:
This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it’s about to be rocked off - permanently.
Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here’s a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
- People getting drop-kicked in the face
- Phallic aggression
- Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
- Garish disregard for the well-being of children
- Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
- Intimidating rhetoric
- Obscure penile references
- The triumph of flannel over good taste
This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged son of a bitch out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to buy a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted, or busting balls.
If you can’t handle the punch to the colon I’m about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you’ll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already.
Tucker Max, a writer and self-proclaimed friend/fan of Maddox tells the reader in his review of The Alphabet of Manliness not to “expect that the book will be exactly like his site… whatever issues you may have with the departure from his standard format will evaporate when you read paragraphs like this one on the greatness of hot sauce:
‘The baby seemed like he was loving [the hot sauce] at first, but suddenly he started crying, so I did what I always do when babies cry: I put him in the garbage can. His mom started yelling and screaming, then she tried to punch me, so I stepped to the side and she accidentally tripped and fell down four flights of stairs, and then she accidentally got peed on.’ “ Wikipedia
The Alphabet of Manliness
By Maddox
There isn’t a PDF yet, just scans in JPG. Not sure about the quality, though. Should be good enough for reading. These are 10 MB each.
Thanks to winstonwolf19 from ProjectW for these.
http://rapidshare.de/files/24225688/TAoM.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.de/files/24225766/TAoM.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.de/files/24225837/TAoM.part3.rar
http://rapidshare.de/files/24225907/TAoM.part4.rar
http://rapidshare.de/files/24225395/TAoM.part5.rar
There’s another mirror for this too, thanks to magixx (also from ProjectW). This one’s “crummy but readable.” 40 MB.
http://rapidshare.de/files/23945798/TAOM-MaGiXX.rar.html
Tintin
